This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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