Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
