Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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