I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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