the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
