Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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