Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
