I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
