You're so nebulous sometimes
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
