the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
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