the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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