so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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