just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You were trust falling into bushes
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