in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
