if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he shaved USA in his pubs
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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