508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
