The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
