If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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