PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
