singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
