I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
