It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
