Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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