so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
