god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
