I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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