I CAN MOONWALK!
We named our party play list daddy issues
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
