i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
