i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
