Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
