Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
