I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
