Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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