Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
