i think i have herpe
just one?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
