I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My life is pants optional.
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