Me too!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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