playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
