forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
