I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
