Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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