I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
