put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm sobbing to NWA
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
