she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
