im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Boobs are out for the taking
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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