I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
