K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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