I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
