I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
