It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
