he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
