Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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